Love in the Dining Room Part 2 (Melancholy)

Published by Angela | Filed under Personalities, Relationships, Speaking Notes

As our dining room is a reflection of our personality so will our style of relating with God be a reflection of our personality.  Our personality is an expression of who we are — our interests, motivations, desires, talents and the way we see the world and relate with one another. 

In the church we tend to put the same expectations upon everyone regardless of their personality, background or where they are in the discipleship process.  These expectations may be easy for some personalities, almost like a second nature.  But for other personalities the expectations are a weight too heavy to bear.  They become disheartened and sometimes just give up.

The Proper Melancholy Personality, the straight edges of the Personality Puzzle, the first violin or clarinet of the orchestra or band, sets the standard for spiritual development with God.  The Melancholy is a serious student, deep thinker who likes to analyze everything and make charts and lists.  The Bible study methods that are heavy on memorization, journaling, prayer journals, word studies and reading through the Bible in a year are tailor made for the meticulous melancholy.  Inquiring minds what to know and Melancholies will search for the facts.  Whenever they do something, they want to do it right so they need plenty of time to complete it well.  Their motto is “if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”  They will schedule a particular time and place in which to have devotions and are disciplined by nature to keep that appointment with God. 

 Some of the challenges for the Proper Melancholy are:

• Their program of devotions becomes a ritual that’s more about the discipline than the relationship.
• They get more engrossed in the facts than in the application for their life. 
• They have difficulty adjusting to changes that interrupt their schedule and keeps them from doing it perfectly.
• They are critical of themselves and become discouraged when they don’t meet their own expectations.
• They tend to see God as a judge just waiting to bring the gavel down on them for any and all mistakes.
• They tend to be negative and critical which can make them distracted, discouraged or disillusioned.

What’s a Melancholy to do?    Lighten up.  Don’t take yourself so seriously.  If God loved you enough to send His Son to die for you while you were yet a sinner, how much more grace and love will He have on you while you are His child and friend?  God wants an intimate relationship not a regimented lifeless routine. 

• Concentrate on the relationship. 

• Change your routine up a little. 

• Write a love letter to God. 

• Write a poem. 

• Draw a picture that depicts your praise or prayer. 

• Express your prayer through interpretative movement and instrumental music. 

• Write a song and sing it. 

• Do less and just sit at His feet listening for His voice and sensing His presence — spend quiet time with Him. 

• Gather and memorize scriptures about God’s love for you.  Practice going into God’s presence through the blood and grace instead of on the merits of your performance.

When you’re tempted to be hard on yourself because you didn’t meet your usual expectations for devotions,  ask yourself  “Am I in relationship?  What have I done to deepen my relationship with God lately?”  Keep it about the relationship and not the rules,  rote and routine.

Next time we’ll look at the Proper, Perfect Melancholies opposite — the Playful, Popular Sanguine.